Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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