I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
