Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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