the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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