i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
