Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
