Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
