Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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