and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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