Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize