Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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