he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
