i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
