he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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