i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We need to get me chipped asap
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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