Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
