You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
