It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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