They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
