I want to walk on stilts...naked
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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