Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
