Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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