hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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