In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
