An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
