i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
