Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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