just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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