if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
