"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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