Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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