I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
