i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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