When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
smell my finger.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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