Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
