He is an equal opportunity slut.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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