Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
