i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
