The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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