dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
