Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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