You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
