I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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