yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
