You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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