Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
