**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
