But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
did you just send me my own nude
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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