my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
