the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
