I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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