he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
