Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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